Upon observing several trays of catering being taken into the office’s largest boardroom this morning, interns Jamie Meir and Stephanie Love had staked-out the kitchen area, awaiting the leftovers soon to be considered “fair-game”.
Following the let-out of a noon meeting, the hungry hawk-eyed scavengers were reportedly seen descending quickly upon their prey.
As the clients and senior staff exited the boardroom chatting over their bottles of sparkling water, Meir and Love circled the partially-eaten plates, armed with empty plastic take-home containers.
After scoping out the full selection of free gourmet treats, Meir (the stronger of the two) swooped down on the mostly empty deli-tray of half-sandwiches, snapping up the last ham and cheese in his claws, leaving the wilted vegetarian options to his less aggressive hunter.
“As in nature,” explained Jennifer Stason of Human Resources, “it’s the survival of the fittest. When it comes to feeding, all must learn to adapt quickly, or suffer the taste of stale breads and pastries.”
Now pouncing on a picked-over fruit and dessert platter, the two foragers battled it out over the discarded remains of a large cookie, which upon closer inspection was disappointingly revealed to be riddled with raisins, and not the anticipated chocolate chips.
Their Tupperware now filled with enough muffins and bagels in varying states of decay to provide lunches for days to come, the vulture-like entry-level staff quickly depart from the scene, living to scrounge another day.
Boasted Love, pecking at the carcass of a questionable egg salad wrap, “This should tide me over until the next time the executives order too much sushi. Sometimes there’s even pizza!”