Ebola Virus Arrives Just in Time For the Holidays

Tis the season to panic.

hazmat-santa
Ho-ho-holy crap.

This year’s health scare has been warmly embraced, and is sure to be a hot topic during the approaching  Christmas season. Thanks to the media’s fear-mongering tactics, the anxiety over Ebola has spread as quickly as the virus hasn’t.

The misinformation has cultivated and grown to an epidemic state; acting very much like the contagion itself has not.

“Oh, it’s awful. The government really needs to get a hold of things,” said Sherry Wonder absentmindedly when her equally ignorant friend brought up the news, “Oh look! A sale on bed linens!”

Others have taken a more optimistic approach. Senior citizen Sal Goldburg reports that “He’s seen this coming all along,” and “This is what today’s youth get for their unholy ways.” he nods self-assuredly, as his nurse spoons rice pudding into his mouth.

At present time, medical professionals recommend taking all possible precautions to avoid exposure to the virus. “Don’t even Google it,” urges Tod Jameson, frequent watcher of Grey’s Anatomy.

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