1. Your BFF’s poor zombie hygiene.
Umm, hello? You have some blood on your face. No, not there, the other side. Well, yes, there too actually. You know what? It’s just all over you, Stacy. You’re a mess.
She used to let you borrow her clothes and buy everyone a round of tequila shots. Now, she’s only interested in finding a source of edible human flesh…boring!
Still, you are basically sisters, so you bite your tongue, and hope that she doesn’t bite your tongue off.
Red may not be her colour, but BFF means FOREVER…even beyond the grave.
2. Unrealistic beauty standards.
I know the Skeletons rule the planet now, but like, they totally portray an unattainable look.
Sure, the scarce food supply makes it easy to lose weight, and you’re starving most nights, but it’s just not fair to be compared to our skinless masters.
Ugh, and the hunger pains… still, pain is beauty!
3. Finding the perfect apartment.
We get it; the housing market just isn’t that great now that all businesses have collapsed and most of the population is dead or undead. But is it too much to ask to find a nice, affordable place downtown?
We’re not asking for much. Just 3 to 4 walls, really. You would even be willing to deal with a blood-craving landlord (aren’t they all?). Just a low, fixed rent and maybe a tarp or something to protect from the acid rain and torrents of venomous flies.
4. Deadbeat guys. Literally.
It’s a tough dating scene out there. It’s not bad enough that 80% of mankind was wiped out, how are you supposed to find a partner now? Though technically safest to travel alone now, the only kind you can pick-up now wants to pick you out of their teeth! Sure, Zombie Ryan Reanolds has still got it going on, but for the must part, the undead are just so…deceased.
5. Social life? Social death.
When you aren’t foraging for scraps to brave off impending starvation, or fighting off cantankerous carnivore neighbors, things are pretty dull.
It can get pretty boring, when your only social life consists of a murderous roommate and a pack of wolves you chased off with a stick. You have to find ways to have fun and stave off the constant crushing pressure of your impending doom! So you distract yourself watching the explosions in the distance, and softly sobbing into your hands.