Rejoice, and submit to the inexhaustible supply of distraction, coming at you in 140 characters or less. Open your mouths and enjoy the tasty, easily digestible morsels of empty words and factory-produced facts.
Revel in the abundance of self-affirming mumbo-jumbo that swaddles and cradles you softly cooing that everything is going to be okay.
Embrace the careful grooming of your psyche, and prepare to obey the cravings as they come. Salivate over the juicy headlines and latest version of the iPhone. Satiate yourself with the content, the glorious content that fills in your cracks, removing the need for free thought.
Journalism has died; now content is king.